Friday, September 7, 2012
11:25am
Well what a week this has been. I'm writing this while curled up in bed watching Forrest Gump. Much needed rest.
Tuesday morning was my pre-op appointments. It started off a little rough with so much traffic, but I shook it off. We started out at the House of Ear Clinic in Los Angeles. This is where I originally started everything 6 years ago. It's right across the street from St. Vincent, my first hospital stay. First, I had my hearing tested. It took forever because the girl doing the test had only been working there for two weeks. I hate hearing tests, especially since I am deaf in one ear, so my hand signals were never right because I had no clue which ear I was hearing the sounds in. That took a while and then I went back to the waiting room till the doctor was ready to see us.
It was then I got the news that the tumor had doubled in size over the last year. Surgery is not an option at this point. If they tried to cut out the tumor, I would die. There are no other studies or research to help me right now so the Gamma Knife Radiation is my only option. I had this same procedure done 6 years ago so there are definitely risks in repeating it, but the doctors were confident I would react okay.
I had a few more appointments after that and paperwork to fill out, and after 8 hours we finally were able to go home.
Yesterday morning we had to wake up at 3:45am to get ready. We had to drive to Temple City to meet my mom and dad, and then from there went to Good Samaritan. We got there at 5:30am. It was a long process. They had to hook me up to the heart monitor and blood pressure, then they started my IV. They got it on the first try, thanks to the nurse for listening to me on where to go. OH, and then after all that, they had to unhook me from everything so I could take a pregnancy test. Ummmm.....I'm infertile so thanks for rubbing that in my face. Then they knocked me out and the doctors came in and put the halo on my head. An hour long MRI followed, and then as soon as the woman in front of me finished, it was my turn. They said because of the placement of the tumor it was going to take TWO HOURS to do the pinpoint radiation. They wanted to be very careful in making sure they were zapping the tumor, and only the tumor. One little mistake and I could have lost my vision. It was a miserable 2 hours. The way they lock that halo into the dome is absolutely miserable. With the rods in my neck, I was in sooo much pain. I had to stop them in the middle because I needed a break. I was so close to having a meltdown in there, but I was able to overcome it and finish the radiation. I know that everyone praying for me played a big part in that.
So now we wait...I'll have an MRI in 6 months to see if it worked. If by chance it doesn't stop the tumor from growing, I will most likely have to go through an aggressive chemotherapy, for that will be my last option in beating this thing.
Thank you for all the prayers. Thanks to my mom, dad, boyfriend, Aunt karen, Uncle wayne, Mama Anna, and Grma Stella for being there with me yesterday. Fingers crossed. And God Bless.
Well what a week this has been. I'm writing this while curled up in bed watching Forrest Gump. Much needed rest.
Tuesday morning was my pre-op appointments. It started off a little rough with so much traffic, but I shook it off. We started out at the House of Ear Clinic in Los Angeles. This is where I originally started everything 6 years ago. It's right across the street from St. Vincent, my first hospital stay. First, I had my hearing tested. It took forever because the girl doing the test had only been working there for two weeks. I hate hearing tests, especially since I am deaf in one ear, so my hand signals were never right because I had no clue which ear I was hearing the sounds in. That took a while and then I went back to the waiting room till the doctor was ready to see us.
It was then I got the news that the tumor had doubled in size over the last year. Surgery is not an option at this point. If they tried to cut out the tumor, I would die. There are no other studies or research to help me right now so the Gamma Knife Radiation is my only option. I had this same procedure done 6 years ago so there are definitely risks in repeating it, but the doctors were confident I would react okay.
I had a few more appointments after that and paperwork to fill out, and after 8 hours we finally were able to go home.
Yesterday morning we had to wake up at 3:45am to get ready. We had to drive to Temple City to meet my mom and dad, and then from there went to Good Samaritan. We got there at 5:30am. It was a long process. They had to hook me up to the heart monitor and blood pressure, then they started my IV. They got it on the first try, thanks to the nurse for listening to me on where to go. OH, and then after all that, they had to unhook me from everything so I could take a pregnancy test. Ummmm.....I'm infertile so thanks for rubbing that in my face. Then they knocked me out and the doctors came in and put the halo on my head. An hour long MRI followed, and then as soon as the woman in front of me finished, it was my turn. They said because of the placement of the tumor it was going to take TWO HOURS to do the pinpoint radiation. They wanted to be very careful in making sure they were zapping the tumor, and only the tumor. One little mistake and I could have lost my vision. It was a miserable 2 hours. The way they lock that halo into the dome is absolutely miserable. With the rods in my neck, I was in sooo much pain. I had to stop them in the middle because I needed a break. I was so close to having a meltdown in there, but I was able to overcome it and finish the radiation. I know that everyone praying for me played a big part in that.
So now we wait...I'll have an MRI in 6 months to see if it worked. If by chance it doesn't stop the tumor from growing, I will most likely have to go through an aggressive chemotherapy, for that will be my last option in beating this thing.
Thank you for all the prayers. Thanks to my mom, dad, boyfriend, Aunt karen, Uncle wayne, Mama Anna, and Grma Stella for being there with me yesterday. Fingers crossed. And God Bless.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
8:43pm
I know many of you have heard the news, but for those who haven't: A couple weeks ago I got a call from my brain surgeon with the recent results of my yearly MRI's. For those who have/had cancer, you know that getting a phone call from your doctor can either mean great news, or horrendous heartbreak. In my case it was the latter. "A significant growth," he told me. Right now I don't have very much information, so all I'm asking for is prayers that we can figure out a game plan soon and beat this thing for good. Thank You.
I know many of you have heard the news, but for those who haven't: A couple weeks ago I got a call from my brain surgeon with the recent results of my yearly MRI's. For those who have/had cancer, you know that getting a phone call from your doctor can either mean great news, or horrendous heartbreak. In my case it was the latter. "A significant growth," he told me. Right now I don't have very much information, so all I'm asking for is prayers that we can figure out a game plan soon and beat this thing for good. Thank You.
I cannot say enough about this man. Henry has been so devoted to taking care of our precious Reggie. I cannot wait to see the finished product of this beautiful piece of art, The Reggie Project. Words cannot even describe just how amazing his work is. You can follow and support The Reggie Project on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ReggieProject
Brianda Parra
November 17, 1989-March 18, 2012
This is the absolutely gorgeous Brianda. I was so blessed to have met with her Thursday, March 15th. She was 22 years old and was battling Ovarian Cancer for almost 3 years. Brianda was married and had an adorable 5 year old son. Thursday, she accepted the Lord into her heart, and we know 110% she is now in Heaven with our Lord and Savior! ♥ I was not only touched by Brianda, but her best friend, Tania, as well. Tania is also 22, and they have been best friends for 10 years. I was completely drawn to how sweet and caring she was looking after her friend. As I have just lost one of my best friends, she is now having to cope with the same thing. I am so thankful to have been there, and praise God for giving me these opportunities.
Please keep Tania and Brianda's family and friends in your prayers.
Please keep Tania and Brianda's family and friends in your prayers.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
11:38pm
It's been six years. Six years. Six--years...but not a day goes by when I don't miss who I was seven years ago...six and a half years ago...six years and a day ago.
Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't feel myself. I feel lost, like who I have become over the last six years has no meaning at all. Because who I am, or at least who I remember to be, is so much more than a young woman who sits in bed all day with no energy and no strength to even run down the stairs to the front door.
I woke up one day and who I was the day before had vanished. I have tried so hard to get her back, but my muscles have already forgotten. However, my memory of that girl remains. It is so confusing because they don't match up. My mind remembers one thing and my body has won the battle of rejecting that memory.
Just when I think I have figured out what I want to do with my life, something holds me back and I don't follow through. I took some time last year to put some things on hold that I wasn't sure about. At the end of the year I found my way back to a place where my mind and my body didn't fight so hard to get their own way. I began to remember how much I missed about this particular subject being a part of my daily life. But since then I have become even more confused and overwhelmed at all the time I had been consuming to focus on subjects that don't recede back to the roots of who I really am.
What if I had the option of getting back to who I was before the operation, but in return would lose everything about who I became after waking up until right now? It is such a puzzling concept to wrap my brain around, and even more so that I don't have an immediate response. Which would I choose? I really don't know--because if I could have it all, I would still be losing a part of myself. I would be losing the struggle. I'd go back to a life of no failure, where I never had to do something twice because I rocked it on the first try. And if I really thought back to who I was all those years ago, I would realize that I was just as confused then as I am right now. The only thing I was sure about then were my activities. The only thing I am sure about now is my experience. To keep the experience while gaining back the activity would be a six-year-old dream coming true. Because in order to be who I know I could by SIX years from now, I need to find my way back to who I used to be while remembering how much I've grown on my own.
Gee, thanks a lot The Vow. This is all in response from watching the movie tonight.
It's been six years. Six years. Six--years...but not a day goes by when I don't miss who I was seven years ago...six and a half years ago...six years and a day ago.
Sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't feel myself. I feel lost, like who I have become over the last six years has no meaning at all. Because who I am, or at least who I remember to be, is so much more than a young woman who sits in bed all day with no energy and no strength to even run down the stairs to the front door.
I woke up one day and who I was the day before had vanished. I have tried so hard to get her back, but my muscles have already forgotten. However, my memory of that girl remains. It is so confusing because they don't match up. My mind remembers one thing and my body has won the battle of rejecting that memory.
Just when I think I have figured out what I want to do with my life, something holds me back and I don't follow through. I took some time last year to put some things on hold that I wasn't sure about. At the end of the year I found my way back to a place where my mind and my body didn't fight so hard to get their own way. I began to remember how much I missed about this particular subject being a part of my daily life. But since then I have become even more confused and overwhelmed at all the time I had been consuming to focus on subjects that don't recede back to the roots of who I really am.
What if I had the option of getting back to who I was before the operation, but in return would lose everything about who I became after waking up until right now? It is such a puzzling concept to wrap my brain around, and even more so that I don't have an immediate response. Which would I choose? I really don't know--because if I could have it all, I would still be losing a part of myself. I would be losing the struggle. I'd go back to a life of no failure, where I never had to do something twice because I rocked it on the first try. And if I really thought back to who I was all those years ago, I would realize that I was just as confused then as I am right now. The only thing I was sure about then were my activities. The only thing I am sure about now is my experience. To keep the experience while gaining back the activity would be a six-year-old dream coming true. Because in order to be who I know I could by SIX years from now, I need to find my way back to who I used to be while remembering how much I've grown on my own.
Gee, thanks a lot The Vow. This is all in response from watching the movie tonight.